INSIDE HOCKEY

I had no idea it was going to be this difficult. I thought, hey, it might be a challenge to find the perfect hockey pal, but I had no idea I would run into such obstacles. Why is this so difficult? I don’t get it; I just don’t get it.

The latest story about my search is I found a couple of nice guys to watch Ducks games with me. They live down the street from me and it’s easy for them to meet me at my local sports bar, Hollywood Billiards. Although they are great conversation, they are what I now call the “Bad Luck Boys.” The Ducks lost every game I watched with those boys. Two of those times, the Ducks were shutout. Because of this, I think I have to move on. I can’t carry on this relationship when my team’s success is at stake. And besides, one is an Avs fan and the other one doesn’t even like hockey. So what was I doing anyway? Am I really THAT desperate? Maybe I am, but it’s time to try other avenues and buddies. Not to say that I would absolutely never watch a game with them again, as they are entertaining. But one of them has a girlfriend, preventing him from cooking me dinner on game nights every once in a while. That could get, well, awkward.

The only goal scored during those three games with the Bad Luck Boys was a nice one by Chris Pronger against the Stars. The funny thing about Pronger was that when he played for the Blues I despised him, but when he came over to the Ducks, he quickly became one of my favorite players. What this means is, well, he’s THAT good. I never worry when he’s on the ice.

Let’s move onto something a little more upbeat: the moustache belonging to George Parros. I realized while watching the recent match-up against the Wild, that this furry monster was distracting me. I found myself hypnotized, gazing at the black symbol of masculinity positioned on Parros’ upper lip. For those of you who don’t know, Parros began his NHL career with the Kings in 2005, then moved to the Avs for a couple of games the next season, and landed in Anaheim where he won the cup. His moustache is so impressive that I put a picture of him as the background on my computer. If only this flap of hair could be my hockey buddy. I could watch the games from the bench and have a birds-eye view of the game.

In order to continue with my hockey buddy search, I posted another ad on Craigslist. This time I specified that I wanted only Ducks fans. I said this:

ANY ANAHEIM DUCKS FANS OUT THERE?? - w4m
I'm going to be more specific now. I am a female hockey lover who is looking for a hockey buddy. I'm sick of all the responses from Kings fans...anyone out there love the DUCKS??

As I had feared would be the case, I got fewer responses this time, including one about how the Kings rule – in bold, mind you. I need to branch out and expand my search. I wonder if there are any hockey mixers out there? Or maybe I could ask that cute guy I see on the train several times a week if he’s a hockey fan. That seems like a harmless icebreaker, right? Better yet, maybe I should just stand on random street corners in L.A. and have people fill out surveys. There’s probably a better chance of finding someone that way.

I was watching the game against the Oilers tonight when a Red Sox fan stopped by my table to have a quick chat. He told me that he had gone fishing with his father and Bobby Orr way back when. He followed it up with the fact that he doesn’t know anything about hockey. That was very disappointing.

This whole situation is getting depressing. I’m glad it’s not as bad as the “Staples Center incident” I referred to in my last column. I feel like time is ticking away. Thankfully, there are plenty of games left this season. If this were “My Search for a Football Buddy” I’d be out of luck.