INSIDE HOCKEY

I live in L.A., am single and love hockey. L.A. is probably the worst city for finding a man, and you can forget about finding a man who loves hockey. I have male friends who like hockey, but they either love other sports more or are with their significant others all the time. So where does this leave me? It leaves me a lonely hockey-loving lady in the City of Angels.

This season I decided to try to do something about it. I am determined to find a decent hockey buddy. I’m not talking about a buddy who wants to watch a game every now and then. I’m talking about someone who likes going to games, who likes watching them on TV, who likes staying in on a Friday night to watch a game with a six pack of beer and who doesn’t mind cooking me a game night dinner every once in a while. I don’t think this is too much to ask. It shouldn’t be anyway.

To test the waters, I posted an ad on Craigslist in their “Strictly Platonic” section. I just wanted to see what kind of response I would get. I’ve never once posted an ad on Craigslist or even looked at it for reasons other than searching for a job or an apartment. Hey, I’m completely open to just having a platonic hockey friend. This doesn’t absolutely need to be a romantic relationship. Plus, I figured it might be safer to put it in this particular section. Here’s the exact text:

Ohhh...Lord Stanley....yeah, that's right....it's hockey season now and I don't have a pal to watch games with. I'm sad. I'm a 20-something chick who loves sports and beer...ESPECIALLY HOCKEY AND HEINEKEN!!! I was a sports intern in college at a daily paper so I know my stuff. As I said, I'm looking for a PAL, not a date...even though my ideal Friday night would consist of someone cooking me a homemade meal, drinking some beers, watching a great hockey game on a massive plasma screen, topped off with some cupcakes or maybe pecan pie a la mode.

Let me know what you're thinking, who your favorite teams are, and why you think it would be fun to watch endless hockey games with me...on TV AND LIVE!!! Can you smell the ice???

I got quite a few responses and, unfortunately, most were from Kings fans offering me things like “VIP” seats. First of all, even though I posted the ad on the Los Angeles Craigslist site, I am a diehard Ducks fan (since circa 1997). I pretty much despise the Kings, dating back to a couple seasons ago when I attended their first regular season game at the Staples Center. Not only were the fans rude to people around them, they booed their own team repeatedly throughout the game.

Then when I went to get food, I waited in a line for what seemed like hours and was then informed that they had run out of most of their food items. One would think that the Staples Center would keep well stocked for sporting events. However, one should never assume anything. Second of all, offering prime tickets to strangers seems a little strange to me, a little too much too soon. Kind of creepy, if you ask me.

I think I was at like 30 responses or so when I logged in to my e-mail to find a notice from Craigslist informing me that my ad had been deleted. What? I read and reread the notification. The words, “Your Posting has been flagged for removal” burned into my retinas. How did I not abide by the terms? I determined that someone thought I was a fake person. Perhaps I sounded too good to be true. Nonetheless, I reposted the ad. I’m ready to try in a variety of ways to find the perfect hockey buddy. I won’t give up.

Last week for the Ducks home opener, I went with a new friend (I met him through a mutual friend) down the street to a sports bar. It was refreshing to see the Ducks raising their banners over their glistening home ice. I was so sad to see Selanne and Neidermayer in suits and not suited up in their gear, but I still have high hopes for the team. The Ducks are still strong. It was good to see them win on home ice against the Bruins.

In regards to the company, being British, he didn’t know a whole lot about hockey and decided that he should ask me questions the entire time. And being that he is a comedian for a living, the majority of these questions were insanely silly. Try having someone ask you something like, “Why doesn’t the goalie just hold the puck, skate it across the ice, and throw it into the net to score?” while you’re trying to drink your beer and watch the game. On the upside, he explained Cricket to me during one of the intermissions.

It’s clear to me that this search may be even more difficult than I already knew it’d be. Good thing I’m up for the challenge.