INSIDE HOCKEY

Don’t judge me. The tickets were free. Am I supposed to turn down free tickets? I realize they were for two teams I can hardly stand to watch, but, live hockey is live hockey.

That’s right, I got four free tickets for the Kings vs. Stars matchup on March 31st at the Staples Center. Feeling guilty for not having watched nearly enough hockey this season and persuaded by the fact they were premiere seats with food service, I couldn’t say no. Finding three people to join me for a game on short notice, the next day, was a challenging task, but I accomplished it.

Immediately saying yes to my offer was a hockey buddy from last season. Remember the Belgian Beer Incident? That was him! Unfortunately, for him, it was his first NHL game. On the bright side, he didn’t have to pay. The other two tickets were not so easy to give away. Most people said it was too short of notice, but, really, we all know there aren’t a whole mass of hockey fans in this town. Even one of the hardcore Kings fans buddies from last season ignored my email plea. The next day he claimed the email went to his junk folder. Nice excuse. It seemed especially difficult because the team hasn’t even made it to the playoffs since I first moved to California a million years ago (2002, I was told by the junk mail Kings fan).

The Belgian Beer fellow and I had a difficult time getting to our seats because they were on a level with some of the luxury boxes/suites/rooms. If any of you have been to the Staples Center you know half the place is made up of these boxes. It’s bizarre. Along with our difficulty navigating, my buddy tripped off the escalator while taking a photo of Britney Spears on a television screen across from us.

Once we joined the other two people who accepted my offer (a woman I work with and her husband – both hockey fans) the game was just starting and we were ready.

Stars won 3-2. It was good to see Marty Turco in net. I admit that I like seeing him play. He stopped 26 of 28 LA shots. Not as many as Kings goalie, Jonathan Quick, who stopped 32 of 35. The first period flew by really quickly with only one penalty that Los Angeles earned for having too many men on the ice. Mike Ribeiro scored a goal for Dallas, too, but most of the breaks came when the scantily clad ladies came out to shovel the ice. Belgian Beer guy seemed very impressed by the women. “Are there always hot ice shovel chicks at the games?”

I am going to also admit that even I was more impressed by the ice shoveling than the hockey playing. Brendan Morrison scored a couple of good goals, but other than that, I wasn’t all that riled up by the game. At least I got to see Mike Modano’s tanned face for a little while.

If you’ve followed hockey at all this season, you’ll know that both of these teams, well, stink. I’m not saying my team, Anaheim, is doing much better, but I’m explaining why the game had a lot of empty seats. Teams are really fighting for the playoff slots this year, bouncing in and out of the ranks. The Ducks are ranked seven as I type this. Nashville is close behind at eight with the same amount of points and one less win. St. Louis is only one point behind them. It’s a crazy race and I’m a little scared. If we switched into playoff mode right now, my team would be playing evil Detroit. Colorado lost their glory and have absolutely no chance of making it in. I guess I can’t admit that I’m from the Northwestern part of the United States. Last year, I was pulling for San Jose. I’ve always liked the Bay area and they’re a good team. If they don’t perform, as they should this year, I will be more than a little disappointed.

As usual, I was not impressed by the Staples Center food offerings. They have something called “Pineapple Pinnacle” on the In-Seat dining menu. It’s described as pineapple chunks served with chili and lime. Am I missing something? I have NEVER heard of this. I wouldn’t dare try it, though, as it would probably give me horrible heartburn just like the Kings do.

In case you were wondering, my fantasy team never picked up. It let me down. I hope my Ducks don’t do the same in the near future. You know, maybe I DO secretly like Modano, but don’t tell anyone.